“I’ve never felt so inadequate.”
The early days as a dad were much harder than Pierre ever imagined. He’s now 29 and recently became a dad for the second time. Here he tells us his story.
“I was expecting it to be more transformative for me on a personal level. I’m a dad now! But I soon discovered that having a kid hasn’t changed me into someone completely different. I’m still Pierre. I’m still crazy about basketball, sneakers and music. These things might not be quite as important to me as they once were, but my personality hasn’t changed. I’m still me – plus a bit more.”
Joshua’s story: “I just wanted other guys to share that experience with.”
“The first year was a nightmare. The baby cried constantly but there wasn’t a lot I could do to comfort him. He just wanted his mum. I wasn’t good enough and I struggled to deal with that feeling. I was willing to help and do anything – yet somehow I fell short of what my child needed. I’ve never felt so inadequate. Things got better when I was on paternity leave. It gave us an opportunity to develop our own relationship.”
Things got better when I was on paternity leave. It gave us an opportunity to develop our own relationship.
“My maternal grandfather has been an important role model in my life. He took me to and from nursery and school every day until my early teens.
My maternal grandparents left Hungary for Sweden in the 1950s. My grandfather was an eminent doctor, both in his homeland and here in Sweden. I can still remember crawling up into his arms. The feel of his sweater against my cheek. I was just 17 years old when he died. I wrote a eulogy to read at his funeral.”
“I’ve always wanted to have kids. Always been able to picture myself as a dad. But it still took a while to get used to the idea when it finally happened. The moment you see the positive pregnancy test with your own eyes. I was the first to have children in my group of friends. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to at that point. Now I’m 29 and a father of two. It’s really cool.”
The moment you see the positive pregnancy test with your own eyes.
“I hope to be able to encourage and support my kids in their choices. Regardless of the path they choose. All my family are university graduates, medical consultants, professors, literary scholars. There was a lot of pressure on me to make the ‘right’ choices. I know better than anyone how it feels to be forced on to a path I didn’t choose myself.
But, on the other hand, I want my kids to have all the tools they need. I want them to have options. This is what I want to give my kids: a belief in their ability to do anything and everything. As their dad, I need to be their greatest cheerleader.”
Text: Katarina Gröndahl
What was becoming a dad like for you? Share your story on Instagram – tag with #dadstories
Pierre Weintraub
Dad to Olivia, 7 weeks, and Lukas, 3 years.
Age: 29
Lives: Gothenburg, Sweden
Occupation: DJ, sneaker collector, club manager and salesman
Hardest thing about being a dad: “Lukas is very articulate for his age. It’s easy to forget that he’s still so young. He can express himself and uses difficult words. I often get frustrated and think: ‘But we talked about this, why are you acting so childishly?’ Then it hits me that he’s only three years old.”
